As the title suggests, my quest for weightloss and fitness and good health isn’t going too well.
I’m 3 lbs heavier than when I began the challenge, which you could argue isn’t bad considering I’ve had a 50th birthday and Christmas in the last few weeks. I’m not taking it to heart. Well, obviously my body has taken it to my heart and placed it around it and inside my arteries, but I won’t get anywhere if I let this failure make me give up.
I’m in a strange mixed-up state at the moment. My birthday was wonderful. Completely different from any other birthday I’ve had. No huge party, very little alcohol, one big surprise. My wife, son and daughters conspired to bring my daughters to the local airport where I knew someone was arriving, but they’d fooled me into thinking it wasn’t them. In my defence I deliberately didn’t attempt to work out who it might be, figuring that this would make it more of a surprise, a ruse which I’m happy to say added to the the enjoyment immensely. I was physically shaking in anticipation and in floods of tears when they appeared. I hadn’t seen them in person for about 16 months, and I worked out after their stay that I hadn’t spent this much time with them in one go since they were teenagers. We spent a chatty, funny, heartwarming three days together. I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present. Even the complete series 8 of Doctor Who, which I got for Christmas. That came second. Sorry Doctor.
Talking of doctors, I got the results of my glucose blood test back and was asked to see my doctor. Turns out I’m pre-diabetic. On the way to being stuck on tablets for the rest of my life. I kind of guessed it was coming. Liz was more worried than I appeared to be. I treated it like another challenge. After all, the doc said if I get fit and lose enough weight and start eating the right things, I could turn myself round. I took it all positively. A couple of days later I found myself tearful and emotional about everything. That could have been a reaction to me being initially slightly in denial, or it could be my Seasonal Affective Disorder reaching it’s highest point at the winter solstice, turning 50, feeling as well as looking morbidly obese, fighting heartburn from overindulging in the delights of the season, and being still in the middle of a fight with my achilles tendonitis which keeps flaring up and making it hellishly difficult to get off my arse and get myself fit without injuring myself. Yeah, it could be one or all of those things. It’s the time of year for being emotionally fragile and it makes for a bugger of a birthday if I’m not careful or lucky or blessed with a kindly, understanding and surprising family.
On the plus side, I did actually manage to do 50 sit ups and 50 back stretches on the morning of my birthday. I haven’t exercised much since and when I do, I can’t do that many, but I did reach the challenge target. I’m not ticking it off the list yet, because if I do I might not carry on doing the exercises, and that would be bad. So bear with me on that one. I will endeavour to improve on the target.
So, I sit here with bad posture, weighing even more than before, with muscles aching, tendons squealing, full of paracetemol, codeine and ibuprofen, totally unfit, threatened with diabetes and a lifetime of tablets, I’ve lost the taste for alcohol, I’m unable to think/type/work quickly, I can’t think ahead, I’m out of stories, lost my imagination, gigs have dried up for another few months and it’s once again getting way past bedtime but my head is whizzing still with unformed ideas that I can’t see.
But am I bovvered? Nah, it’s like this every year. Soon be time to climb out of the hole that is sadly inevitable for me into the sunlight that is happily inevitable too. I still have a wife who loves me, a son who grows taller and funnier every day, two dogs who keep me company as I type and a home in Ireland where there is beauty all around. Not to mention a wealth of possibilities in a new project with a new writing partner which will all become clear this year. I haven’t blogged about it much, if at all on this site, because I want to keep it separate. Look elsewhere, I shall guide you to it when something occurs which is worthy of public attention.
Happy New Year and all that bollox.